He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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