Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
