Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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