Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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