I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
