I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
