Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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