you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
