Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
