what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize