Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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