So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
