? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
