I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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