he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
