her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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