piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
