I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Randomize
