I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
