Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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