So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
