As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
