I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
