Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
