I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize