I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
