is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
