The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
