evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
