i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My liver just had a heart attack.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
