I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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