That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
