Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I don't think brook has ever known best
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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