C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
are you so shy because you have an std?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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