Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I smell stomach acid.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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