I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize