He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
