So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
