So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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