The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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