the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We named our party play list daddy issues
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
