12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
