sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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