i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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