ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So much rum. So many feels.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize