We should be called the Road Head Warriors
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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