sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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