PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
