Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize