I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
