I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize