There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
