He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I touched a dick in church today
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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