yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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