he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize