Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
