yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
