I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So I just went to clothing optional bar
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
