This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
