I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
