You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
