WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
