): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I looked at my own cervix.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
