Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
ttyl tear gas
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
