I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize