I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The uberlube is also flammable
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
