Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
