just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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