then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
