hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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