You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
