i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
